7 Wife jokes

7 Wife jokes

Research shows that men speak 25,000 words a day and a women speaks 30,000 a day…
The problem is, after the husband comes home from work having consumed his 25,000 words..
The wife starts her 30,000.

—————————————————————————–

I sat my son down and said, “Look son, in life if you act like a pussy then you’ll never get any pussy”
My wife said, “Matthew, how dare you use that language in front of him”
I said, “Sorry dear, it won’t happen again”
My son said, “I see what you mean Dad”

—————————————————————————–

For the first time in our relationship my wife has put some real effort into fucking me,
it’s a shame she waited until we got to the divorce courts.

—————————————————————————–

My wife asked me how many fingers I could fit up her
Apparently ‘a whole box’ wasn’t the right answer

—————————————————————————–

Two guys in a health club, one is putting on lace knickers.
“Since when do you wear womens pants?”
“Since my wife found them in the glove compartment!”

—————————————————————————–

My wife gets really annoyed when I use the word ‘cunt.’
I suppose she’s got a point, I really should make the effort to learn her mother’s real name.

—————————————————————————–

My wife has asked me to get her some gloves to wear at her mother’s funeral.
Does anyone know where I can buy those giant foam fingers?

If you liked this joke, and if you like our site, please use the right side RSS subscription button to get daily jokes delivered to your feed reader. Also show your love for us by using the "Like" button, or Tweet about us!

Leave a Reply