Always a repairman

Always a repairman

An Englishman an American and an Irishman had been caught by the French and were about to face madam Guillotine. To show how brave they were each chose to face the blade:

First went the American but the blade jammed and as it must have been an act of God he was set free.
The Englishman was next but the same thing happened and he was set free.
The Irishman took his place praying and crossing himself hoping he to would be spared.

Just as the executioner was about the operate the trip lever the Irishman says “Just a minute, I think I can see the problem!”

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B-R-O-W-N

B-R-O-W-N

A Texan went up to the airline check-in counter and boomed, “howdy, ma’am. My name’s Brown, spelled B-R-O-W-N. Ah’m from Dallas, Texas. Ah’m 6-foot 3-inches tall. Ah’m white from th’ top of mah head to th’ tip of mah toes, and I hate the Irish.”

Well, she didn’t know what else to do, so she took his ticket and showed him onto the plane.

He sat down in his seat, and turned to the fellow next to him, “howdy, suh. My name’s Brown, spelled B-R-O-W-N. Ah’m from Dallas, Texas. Ah’m 6-foot 3-inches tall. Ah’m white from th’ top of mah head to th’ tip of mah toes, and I hate the Irish.”

The little fellow turned to him, “well now, how d’ye do. My name is Patrick Michael O’Donnell. I’m from Dublin, Ireland. I’m 5-foot 6-inches tall, and I’m white from the top o’ me head to the tip o’ me toes, except for me rectum, which is brown. Spelled B-R-O-W-N.”

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Irish dads know it best

Irish dads know it best

An Irishman, Englishman, and a black guy are all in the maternity ward.

The doctor comes through with congratulations to them all, explaining that they are all the proud new fathers of baby sons. However he says, there has been a problem.
“We were really busy, and somehow we have managed to get your three sons mixed up.” In order to sort the situation out the doctor suggests they draw lots to see who gets the first choice. The result is that the Irishman gets the first choice. The Doctor takes the Irishman through to the three babies.

“I’ll take that one,” he says pointing to the little black child.

“Hold on,” says the doctor, “that’s obviously not your son, he’s as brown as a chocolate bar and both you and your wife are white.”

“I know,” replies the Irishman, “but one of the other two is English, and I’m just not prepared to take that risk.”

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