Denise

Denise

Bubba’s sister is pregnant and is in a bad car accident, which caused her to fall into a deep coma. After nearly six months, she awakens and sees that she is no longer pregnant.

Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, ‘ Ma’am, you had twins – a boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them.’

The woman thinks to herself, ‘Oh, no! Not Bubba; he’s an idiot!’

Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, ‘Well, what’s the girl’s name?’

‘Denise,’ the doctor answers.

The new mother thinks, ‘Wow! That’s a beautiful name, maybe I was wrong about my brother. I really like the name, Denise.

‘What’s the boy’s name?’

The doctor replies, ‘Denephew.’

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B-R-O-W-N

B-R-O-W-N

A Texan went up to the airline check-in counter and boomed, “howdy, ma’am. My name’s Brown, spelled B-R-O-W-N. Ah’m from Dallas, Texas. Ah’m 6-foot 3-inches tall. Ah’m white from th’ top of mah head to th’ tip of mah toes, and I hate the Irish.”

Well, she didn’t know what else to do, so she took his ticket and showed him onto the plane.

He sat down in his seat, and turned to the fellow next to him, “howdy, suh. My name’s Brown, spelled B-R-O-W-N. Ah’m from Dallas, Texas. Ah’m 6-foot 3-inches tall. Ah’m white from th’ top of mah head to th’ tip of mah toes, and I hate the Irish.”

The little fellow turned to him, “well now, how d’ye do. My name is Patrick Michael O’Donnell. I’m from Dublin, Ireland. I’m 5-foot 6-inches tall, and I’m white from the top o’ me head to the tip o’ me toes, except for me rectum, which is brown. Spelled B-R-O-W-N.”

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Rednecks

Rednecks

A small zoo in  Arkansas obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. Herein, the Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution.

Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition: Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?

Bobby Lee showed some interest but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.

The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under five conditions:

“First,” Bobby Lee said, “I ain’t gonna kiss her on the lips.”

The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

“Second,” he said, “she must wear a ‘Dale Earnhardt Forever’ T-Shirt.”

The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

“Third,” he said, “you can never tell any one about this.”

The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

“Fourth,” Bobby Lee said, “I want all the children raised Southern Baptist.”

Once again it was agreed.

“And last,” Bobby Lee said, “I’ll need another week to come up with the $500.00.”

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