Posts Tagged "new jokes 2012"
Husband takes the wife to a disco.
There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large – break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works.
The wife turns to her husband and says: “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.”
Husband says: … Read the rest of this entryRead More
A policeman knocked on my door this morning, but I just locked it and sat there in complete silence.
After 20 seconds he knocked again, but I just continued to ignore it.
The knocks got louder and more frequent but I was determined not to move in the hope that … Read the rest of this entry
One dark night in the township of Whakatane, New Zealand, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.
When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the … Read the rest of this entry
A girl was giving me a hand job last night.
“You’re really good at this,” I said, “what’s your secret?”
“Years of practice,” she giggled.
“You’ve done this to loads of guys then? I asked.
“No” came the reply, “my name used to be Derek.”Read More
They did a study a few weeks ago on a common rumour that dogs after a while start acting like their owners. So the scientist picked an architect’s dog, an accountant’s dog, and a homosexual’s dog.
They put the architect’s dog in a room gave him ten bones and he … Read the rest of this entryRead More
Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope.
The judge says, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils … Read the rest of this entryRead More
That fly never knew what fucking hit it …
Our Tampons may not be #1 but, we’re still up there!
The US and British Navy were recently on military exercises in the Persian gulf. The communications officer on the aircraft carrier USS Enterprise sent a radio message to the British carrier HMS Illustrious: “And how”s the second biggest Navy in the world today then?”
To which the Illustrious officer responded: … Read the rest of this entryRead More